Oh dear readers, I have finally recovered from Missions Madness. I do not want to see the inside of the FDU gym for a long long time. But unfortunately, the year flies and it’ll be 2010 anytime now.
Today we had our lock-in and it has been a long day. However, despite the ungodly hour we had to wake up, it was a much needed time for our team. Things were cleared up, logistics were discussed and it may have been the only time in our 4 months of training that our entire team was together.
It has dawned on me that we will be leaving in less than three weeks, the 24th to be exact. And it is not enough time. We never seem to have enough time. Trainings go too quickly and we always need more hours in the day. But in spite of our unpreparedness, we will be leaving as scheduled.
During our small group time, one of the questions was about our vision for this trip and our expectations. I have come to realize that I have none. I have neither a vision nor expectations for the trip this year. I feel disconnected from the team and even from the country.
Perhaps it is because I know that regardless of the preparation we do in the States, the nature of our business there may change at the drop of a policeman’s cap (or gun pointed in our direction, whichever may be the case). Or maybe I’m feeling disconnected because I don’t believe our team has become one team yet but rather we are smaller factions trying to fit into a “team” mold.
Whatever may be the case, I know I am not alone in this limbo state. It’s just that we’ve yet to awknowledge each other through the thickness of the fog we are standing in.
Good night.
